In Twilight Regalia

This is how I felt only two days ago:

“I will tell you now, I do not want to blog anymore. 

I felt very self-assured about the purpose of this when I began and its therapeutic bullshit premise, but that was before there were strangers.  

I never intended this blog for strangers.  I write with an eye to all the world, to everyone else, but I don’t want one of those everyone elses in my face making me feel uncomfortable that I disclosed a biological fact to them.  I don’t want to be responsible for for my reaction.  I don’t want to suffer the crawling under the ground feeling.  I don’t want any more pain  or awkwardness or disappointment, because that: is what this blog was supposed to VENT, as in LET OUT.  

I do not want it coming back in my face doublefold.  I am not interested in being someone’s peculiar specimen.   Fuck you all. ”

Of course, this was followed by:

1) A check in the mail from a contractor boss who practically kissed my feet for writing, researching and finishing a huge ‘Welcome to Snohomish County, WA’ brochure; 

2) an attorney who actually laughed at my joke sometime mid-morning, and

3) two days later, by someone writing to me whom I had not seen since 8th grade and who, completely unsolicited, told me they were very interested in my blog and would go back to read more later.  

Such a smiling useless kvetcher I am.

This entry was posted on Sunday, October 26th, 2008 at 12:43 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.