In Twilight Regalia

RESISTANCE IS INCOMPETENCE IS FUTILE

The Kaiser Medical people never called me back. They said they would have someone call me back last Friday. No one called. More work for me to call about tomorrow, where I have to press one for English, three for appointments, and hold, and then tell someone named Lateesha my number from my card, my whole address, my whole two different phone numbers, and my mother’s maiden name before they will talk to me….

I have to get a new credit card with 0% because my deal with my current 0% credit card company is expiring and I know that it will take up to 1 1/2 months to get the transfer from one company to the next done. Why? Because they
A) don’t give a shit about you saving any money
B) consider you a deserter
and
C) can’t spell your name anyway and probably have two records on their database for you already.

I also have another credit card, one I’ve been with for years, and I am transferring that one to someone else because they are EVIL and they jack up the percentage rate for ANY REASON THEY FIND HUMOUROUS AT THE TIME. They are simultaneously screwing me on my current card rate while offering me a 0% balance with a sneaky default clause with a huge interest penalty in my other name…..

Part of this is because they can’t remember that I faxed, phoned, and separately wrote them and sent them my marriage certificate to tell them to get my TWO RECORDS fixed into ONE RECORD which was my CORRECT NAME, the MARRIED ONE. They can’t seem to do that. Too confusing for those 19 year olds from South Dakota that they have stuffed into little cubicles and don’t allow outside for air. Their brains get like those little plastic games where you have to get the silver balls rolling into all the right holes and then they are missing one hole and it just keeps rolling around, you know? Beeeeeeezzzzzzzz buzzzzzing up there. Also, you have to realize they never learned to spell in the first place since they were all going to play guitar for a living. Well, one of them was going to raise alpacas. But she didn’t really have to work for a living…

Meanwhile AAA is writing to inform me ever so sweetly that I may have forgotten to pay my premium, when in fact I spoke to Eileen at x4429 only a week ago to pay for the coming month. It WAS paid. She SAID it went through. Huh?…. More work cut out for me, the consumer….

Then there’s my bank. You know the one with the horses that purports to be old and well-established? Bank looked at my payment to my credit card company for 800 smackers. I guess I was in a hurry and the handwritten part wasn’t clear. So they put the payment through for 8 bucks, even though the digits clearly read $800. WHO MAKES PAYMENTS TO CREDIT CARD COMPANIES FOR 8 BUCKS????? Well there’s another batch of phonecalling to do… that shoots my “freetime” for lunch for two days this week…

The T-Mobile people have my name correct, but they maintain that I still live in Seattle and my old phone number is my account number. I think I faxed them about that a long time ago but it doesn’t affect my service at least…

My dentist, who spells my name correctly only because we both have the SAME last name, is recommending I come in for more voluntary torture…

The DMV still thinks we have our smashed car….. they want us to sign something….again…..

But HEEEEEEyyyyyyyyy, My building management company is telling me I am getting a refund of $17 bucks. I guess the City of LA decided they couldn’t pass charges on for routine painting of the halls to the tenants.

But see I know someone already paid for this in their sweat and effort. A lady came to the door one day asking if I spoke Spanish. I don’t, I said, and off she went to the next door. She was getting signatures. I bet SHE worked hard that day so I could get my $17 bucks back.

Muchas Gracias Senora, you’re the last bastion of competence.

Now I wonder if she knows where to put “it’s” versus “its”. Probably not. But then neither do any of the people who made the errors above, no doubt. I even found that one messed up on corporate signage in a city zoo. A prominent city zoo.

Am I all righteous for knowing all this? Yesssssss. Am I “more-better” than them???? Yesssssssss. Am I an asshole for rubbing this in your faces? Probably yes, and no. Because you’re making me DO TOO MUCH.

You’re all making me do too much and I’m TIRED. I DON’T HAVE TIME TO DO YOUR WORK OVER, YOU BOOBS!!!

DO YOUR OWN FRIGGIN CLONE WORK YOU CLONES.

BAH!!!

I’m going to bed.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, September 6th, 2005 at 9:22 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.